Shame, Guilt and Apathy LOC 20 – 74

This is the very lowest segment of the sub 200 levels, and people permanently entrenched in the misery of shame, guilt, and apathy are living dangerously close to death and disaster.

Shame is the lowest level that can sustain human life. While most everybody have experienced brief moments of shame when your head is lowered and you just want to become invisible or sink into the earth, it’s quite a different matter to live with chronic shame, guilt and apathy as the major emotional “theme” in your life.

It’s extremely draining to have an unconscious belief system that is 180 degrees out of alignment with life. While your innermost core being is constantly affirming your endless worthiness and value like a vague background whisper, the ingrained belief system and the ego operating in the foreground says the opposite with a loud judgmental voice.

People entrenched at these lowest of levels have usually not had the best of childhoods. They have suffered gross neglect, severe violent and/or sexual abuse on a regular basis, and the consequent shame and guilt that goes with it. The shame and guilt is internalized as the child, not knowing any better, will blame itself for the mistreatment that is going on.

The ego sometimes cope with severe abuse by early on splitting into different personalities in which one of the personalities can “handle the abuse” while the other personalities are oblivious to it. It can also seek to “vomit out” or project these most negative feelings onto others and the world. Cruelty to animals, to other children or to oneself are tell tale signs of this phenomena. Bizarre crimes and school shootings often come from individuals projecting their repressed shame onto others and the world.

The saying that “it takes a victim to make a victim” is true, and often forgotten when we hear about the bizarre and horrendous crimes committed on the news. The “victim ego” will typically take the self-destructive path of substance abuse while the abuser ego will seek to “prove its worthiness” by dominating others and dragging them down below its own level of misery. Psychopaths and severe domestic abusers are examples of this.

Experience and worldview of LOC 20 – 74

The core experience of these lowest of levels is a feeling of total isolation, hopelessness and existential unworthiness. It is exactly 180 degrees from the actual deepest truth of beingness, as the very fact that you exist proves your eternal worthiness. The catatonic despair at the bottom of the scale is perhaps the ultimate expression of this level. The mental patient has frozen into a bizarre position in the corner of the cell and is unresponsive and totally lost. Unless cared for the person would die without even having to spend the energy to actually commit suicide.

The “victim ego” will usually experience this level in a less repressed and more honest way than the “abuser ego”. The victim ego will at least feel the shame, the guilt and the apathy and then typically attempt to escape those all-encompassing emotional states by different means like alcohol, drug abuse or even self-mutilation. The abuser ego on the other hand will repress and project most of the negativity outwards onto others and the world. Of course, the victim ego can also suddenly flip into an abuser ego under certain conditions or in certain situations.

The worldview in general for the victim ego is dominated by a feeling of meaninglessness, hopelessness and the possibility of any change for the better is inconceivable. For the abuser ego the world is a cruel place filled with evil people that needs to be cleansed away or severely punished.

Occupants and examples of LOC 20 – 74

Victim ego: Severe cases of drug addiction and alcoholism, severe mental illness and depression, suicide candidates, victims of severe abuse and/or neglect. Areas of extreme life-threatening poverty can also be dominated by this level.

Abuser ego: Hardcore violent criminals and cold blooded murderers, serial killers, psychopaths, mass murderers, suicide bombers, severe domestic abusers. War zones can also be dominated by this level.

Real world examples:

Public people: The serial killer Richard Ramirez aka The Night Stalker LOC 55.

Movies: Martyrs (2008) LOC 50, A Serbian Film (2010) LOC 60,  Irreversible (2002) LOC 55.

Music: Mayhem – The dawn of the black hearts (1998) LOC 30, Burzum – Burzum (1992) LOC 35.

Books:  American Psycho (1991) LOC 40.

**Please note that reading a book or watching a movie (or even sporadically using substances) at a low LOC does not mean you will automatically be dragged down to that level. The core influence of the person, book, movie, music or substance is what is reflected in the LOC. The more you use it, and identify with it, the more you will be influenced. The higher your personal LOC, the greater is your resistance to the negative influence.

Obstacles and progression from LOC 20 – 74

People native to, and born into, these levels have little chance of actually making any significant progression as that is not usually relevant for their life experience. As harsh as it may sound these people have actually set themselves up for a lifetime of this kind of experience, and they are not usually “meant” to evolve out of it in any significant way.

People born into higher levels that have fallen to this level, and especially those born above LOC 200, have a much better chance of making it out of the depths of LOC 20 – 74 than “native inhabitants”. One of the biggest obstacles for such “fallen people” is actually feeling pity for their own abusers (typically native inhabitants). The fallen person tend to project their own repressed goodness onto the abusive people, “friends” or partners that typically surround them at this level. Often they will feel the urge to “help or save” hopeless cases that only pay them back with abusiveness and feeding off of the ego-juice they get from their subtle or less subtle power over their innocently naive “savior”.

The best way to reclaim your power and progress up towards your birth level and beyond is to first isolate yourself from the negative influences/people in your life. Then start doing physical exercise like yoga, martial arts, or weight lifting (whatever attracts you the most). Focus on being totally present with whatever physical activity you feel attracted to doing. Focused physical exercise combined with isolation from negative influences will soon reveal to you all the entanglements you had with abusive ego’s draining your energy and trying to hold you back.

It’s also a very good idea to act on whatever talent you have and/or anything you feel excited about. Excitement is the red thread from your Higher Self that will guide you out of here. Keep acting on stuff you feel excited about without any expectations or insistence of what it should lead to, and it will lead to evermore exciting stuff. It will also bring up in you all that needs to be cleansed out and let go off as you progress.

<Victim/Abuser Consciousness LOC 20 – 199< or >Grief, Fear and Frustration LOC 75 – 149>

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